Very few people seem to have the perfect relationship with their in-laws. Well, there is a reason for this. Understanding them and not just yourself can go a long way in helping your relationship succeed.
Your in-laws are a crucial part of your spouse’s life. This makes them a crucial part of your life as well. No one ever said it was easy to balance your needs with the needs of others — especially the needs of an entire new family. But creating family harmony is possible — and it’s very much worth the effort.
You realize it won’t be easy to build bridges — and rebuild some that have been burnt — but you also realize that it’s a valuable way to spend your time. The return you get on your investment will last the rest of your married life. Here are some ideas to get you started.
- Work with your spouse.This is the key rule, numero uno, the whole enchilada. As my wonderful husband reminded me last night, dealing effectively with in-laws all starts with first working conflicts through with your spouse. Remember, you’re in this together.Never put your spouse in a situation where he or she has to choose between you and a relative. If you do so, you’re putting your spouse in a nearly impossible bind. Instead, try to understand the bond your spouse has with his or her grandparents, parents, and siblings. If possible, try to support that relationship. Even if your spouse has parents from hell, they are his or her parents.
A happy marriage is not likefootball; there are no successful end-runs in this game. Never go behind your spouse’s back when you deal with in-laws. And don’t tolerate it if your spouse does.